Grandma on Men, Balls, Birds, and Hypocrites

My brother, My Grandma, Me, My Grandpa in Summer 2010

My Grandma is 85 years old.  As she gets older, she gets feistier and more opinionated, and more vocal about her opinions.  I love talking to her any chance I get.  She may give me the same story or advice from time to time because her memory is not as sharp as it used to be, but even when she repeats herself, it seems to me someone must have believed I needed to hear that lesson that day.

I enjoyed leftovers of red enchiladas and her incomparable refried beans for lunch with her today.  Once we served ourselves our "teeny" dessert of biscotchos and Sleepytime tea (she is not supposed to have any sweets), she told me she had lots of advice she wanted to share with me today.  I've recorded the advice in her words, minus the long explanations/stories behind the wisdom, because such wisdom I feel many can relate to and quite possibly get a good chuckle and a smile from today:

• "Don't give men too much freedom.  Give men enough cotton-pickin' freedom and they'll mess anything up.  When a man gets done with something, it is never the same."
• "Women have more balls than men."  (According to her, she has more balls than any man she's ever known, and if you don't believe her, you can ask my Grandpa.  He will set you straight.)
• "Birds are smarter than humans.  I put whole pecans for them in a pot every week and they come to find them.  They can eat a whole pecan by just poking one teeny little hole in them.  I'd like to see a human do that."
• "If someone tells you they don't like you, they are a better person than anyone who pretends to like you but you know very well doesn't.  We have too many "hypocritas" (with an emphasis on the o), that is Spanish for hypocrite, and anyone who doesn't like you, well, they can have a mass for you when you die."

Wishing you a cheerful Friday, Andrea