Monday, January 17, 2011

Villanelle for Today...

I am now following @onestoppoetry on Twitter and they help poets to learn about and explore different poetic forms each week.  Today's form of choice is the villanelle, that pesky little form that likes to turn me in knots.

I had a few lines in my head that of course came to me while I was in the shower.  Then, I came upon their exercise for today and thought I might try to put it into villanelle form. (And I don't hope I don't seem didactic.  It was just me thinking outloud about everything happening in the world.) Here's my attempt:

Feeding Time

We pray to Him only when in need;
We don't talk to Him anymore.
We open mouths and wait to feed.

We call it faith but live in greed;
We don't know what we're praying for.
We pray to Him only when in need.

We forget just how to believe;
Wealth is now the favored Savior.
We open mouths and wait to feed.

Seeing life, we forget the seed;
We must turn the knob at His door.
We pray to Him only when in need.

Don't leave the talk for when you grieve,
Talk to Him like you did before.
We pray to Him only when in need.
We open mouths and wait to feed.

(Now the revision on this should be fun!) ;)


  1. ah nice - the shower is always a good place to "write" poetry...a sensitive topic you touch - and sadly enough it's often true.. thanks for linking up with us andrea
    ..regarding the rhymes and villanelle form - if you would like to have a detailed feedback, you could mail me or leave a comment at one stop - but i just realize i don't manage to comment on all entries in detail..were more than expected..wich is fantastic in a way :=)

  2. Thank you for stopping by my blog, Claudia. I'm happy I've found One Stop...I will definitely stop by again soon.

    Yes, lots of entries is a great thing! What a great sign of progress, and well-deserved. :)